hi i do tend to avoid developing close relationships w ppl bc i get attached super easily and i do notttttt want an fp at all bc its super painful for me and for anyone else who is involved + the lack of one makes me feel somewhat stable and grounded so if we connect and hit it off and i suddenly disappear its really for the best.

additionally im quite picky w who i become friends with and who i become close to esp bc i dont want to start a connection that might hurt me in the end. please dont take it personally if i don't reciprocate or am a little detached from you if we aren't close. i mask a loooot but my biggest trigger is ghosting so i try to keep people at arms length so i dont grow attached to them bc i know not everyone is 100% available to talk.

im v open abt my bpd bc its a huge part of me. i warn the ppl in my life very often bc my symptoms are not pretty at all and as self aware as i am i rly cannot control them though i wish i could. i do make jokes about it as a coping mechanism. that being said im uncomfy w talking abt it seriously and in depth bc its smth i rly truly hate about myself so id prefer to not share my experiences, sorry.